Heavyweight (8.5 oz/yd² | 288.2 g/m²) sweatshirt with direct-to-garment print on the front. Made in -certified facilities.

Monkey see monkey do. Monkey doo doo? At what point did we decide we all had to wipe our own asses because I don't see any other animal doing the same and they got along just fine. Hell dogs don't wipe AND they greet one another with a big old butt huff. So why was I politely asked to leave the dentist earlier because of my 'odour'. Well jokes on you pal, I've min maxed my day by not wiping, I now have an extra 2 minutes every day to watch cool monki videos on my phone whilst you're out there, a slave to society. Break free of your chains brother. I'm only doing this until I can afford a bidet so I can keep my ass so clean you could eat off of it and that's kinda in the ballpark of what I'm looking for in life.